Comments on: Taking Marriage Private? I Think Not

By: Pam

Pam — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:45:34 +0000

7- Carey, I think you are misinterpruting what is being said…FAO is talking about his own private life in which he had a wife that said I do, but after that, there is no evidence that she did anything any longer….He had a rather cantankerous custody battle, and it should be brought up…

I agree with Carey that women are looked down upon as “non-workers” for staying home and raising kids, and that is just plain wrong..My sister has 4 kids under 10, the youngest will be 3 in 2 weeks. 3 of the kids are in school, and sis helps out at their schools, which helps the school system. Parents volunteer to work an hour here and there, and it cuts costs and gives the parent a chance to see how their kids are being taught…that to me is a plus…

FAO, like many other men with children and divorce, is in a situation where the courts automatically assume that the mother is the best choice for the kid and dad’s have no rights..it costs them $1000’s to be told they have limited rights, and by the way, you owe this everyweek…

I side with FAO in his situation. He did not have a child with specil needs, therefore, the ex does need to get out and get a job to help support the kid(s)..yes he should pay child support too,but it should be a fair and equitable deal set up by the court.

Stick around, I think that most of us feel that it is in the best interest of a child to have a parent at home…we split hairs at the area where it should be a productive parent at home..one attempts to keep the housework up and works with the kids..not a parent that sits around all day ignoringthe kids and the house, bt can tell you all about Oprah and Maury…

By: Carey Ogier

Carey Ogier — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 13:05:38 +0000

My opinion on whether a woman stays home or works depends on how many kids there are, if there is extended family members. In this country there is a huge need for quality day care. If a family has several children, and both parents work, one of adults is working for day care and the government, so it does not really pay off.If however the woman and the man have no children, well she should have some kind of job. Who wants to totally depend on some one else to feed and cloth them. Children do……… Thats another problem when woman choose to stay home, (even if it benefits everyone)men treat them like children. In our society if a woman stays home to take care of the family she can expect to be treated inferior to the rest of the working mother’s, and to her spouse. The stay at home mother get no respect and is looked down upon. If there is no contribution to society (working) a woman is pretty much useless, in the eyes of the majority.

By: Pam

Pam — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 04:37:47 +0000

FAO, I see your point on spousal support..If there was an agreement that either the wife or hubby stayed home to raise the kids(as they agreed this was in the best interest of the kids and they both agreed) ,while the other spouse worked, that is where spousal support comes in..to sit at home while the other spouse works 2+ jobs just to keep the bills paid, while the other spouse refuses to work, does not entitle a person to spousal support, imo.

By: FrmrArtyOffcr

FrmrArtyOffcr — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 04:08:59 +0000

There is also an argument going around that unless you’re a woman, you don’t have the right to comment on the abortion issue too. My thoughts on it are that if I’m going to have to support the child until he/she reaches 18, I have the right to state my opinion about abortion. Personally, I think ADOPTION is probably the single most under advocated option when it comes to unwanted pregnancy. As one local commentator puts it ” With the waiting lists to adopt in this country, there are NO unwanted children, only unwanting parents.”

While I can see that a parent should support their children, I don’t see why that should be extended to supporting adults who are perfectly capable of getting a job on their own. I have to agree that a Doctor or Attorney who was supported by their spouse through medical or law school has an obligation to help the spouse get on their feet, but that is because they received help first. That is not the case for women who simply refuse to work once the “I dos” have stopped echoing off of the wedding chapel walls.

By: realitycheck

realitycheck — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 18:22:40 +0000

The idea of marriage is to protect family assets and women who might have replaced careers with maintaining a household and raising children. The state is in the ‘business’ in order to enforce these ideas from a legal perspective.

Whether a maried woman deliberately chooses not to work is another matter. But so is the woman whose live-in boyfriend gets her pregnant and then skips town.

By: Matthias Roggenbuck

Matthias Roggenbuck — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 13:43:14 +0000

2- “My ex-wife…”

(Quote from “Hot Shots! Part Deux”, while the torturing of the Colonel):

Iraqui torturer: I can see you’re no stranger to pain.
Col. Denton Walters: I’ve been married.
Iraqui torturer: Ah.
Col. Denton Walters: *Twice*.
Iraqui torturer: Oy!

By: FrmrArtyOffcr

FrmrArtyOffcr — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 04:10:52 +0000

While I have to admit that if I found the right woman, I would get married again, I think that people need to reexamine what marriage is and isn’t. While a sexless, loveless marriage is legal unless it’s for convenience (i.e. Green Card) it still confers legal rights that being unmarried people don’t have. It also incurs certain responsibilities that make no sense. If a woman is able to work but has chosen not to do so throughout the marriage, why should the man who has been supporting her for years be required to continue to do so? Why should the man be required to keep her in the manner to which she’s become accustomed while being forced to work a second job to keep any roof over his head? It’s ridiculous. My ex-wife worked little outside of the home, and the same or less in it. Yet I was expected to work 90 hours a week to support her.

I’m starting to think that my recent observation about gays wanting to be married applies to straight people as well. I think they all must be crazy. Think about it. If you have to be committed to a marriage, and marriage is an institution, don’t you have to be crazy to want to be committed to an institution?

By: Carey Ogier

Carey Ogier — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 02:14:17 +0000

I believe in marriage, sometimes they don’t work out no matter how hard you try, and sometimes marriage can be dangerous.(domestic violence) But even unmarried couples who live together(in certain states)have rights. My husband went through a nasty divorce a few years ago. They never obtained a marriage license, they had no children, and she did not work. When they split up he had to pay her alimony, even though she was capable of working. On top of alimony he had to pay her utilities, rent, car and health insurance, for six months. Upon the final hearing he had to pay her $5000 more. Which was less than she wanted. When I was divorced, I was stuck with bills, supporting myself and two children, and my ex-husband only paid $125 a month in child support. Marriage however does give rights to couples and should.