Steelers to lose Super Bowl Trophies

Via Robert, this is a spoof, but based on Obama’s actions lately, I wouldn’t rule something like this happening.

Pittsburgh, PA. The Super Bowl XLIII Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, the only team to win six titles, will soon be losing half of those trophies. After a meeting between NFL Commissioner Rodger Gadel and President Barack
Hussain Obama, Obama decided to redistribute half of their Steeler Super Bowl victories and trophies to less fortunate teams in the league.

“We live everyday in the country that invented the Super Bowl.” said Obama “We are not about to lose this Great American tradition in the wake of these difficult times.” Obama’s plan calls for the Steelers, who are a successful NFL team, to give half of their Super Bowl trophies to teams that are not successful or have not been as successful as the Steelers.
“The Detroit Loins are just as much a part of the same fiber of the NFL as the Steelers and they should, no rather will, be entitled to a Super Bowl Trophy as well.” Obama explains in his plan that he has imposed on Godel and the NFL.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, who by virtue of hard work, excellent team play, stellar draft choices, responsible investing
of free agents, careful hiring of coaches and excellent community service and commitment to their fans, has prospered greatly during the past 30 years and have won six Super Bowl Trophies. But President Barack Hussain Obama’s plan calls for the Pittsburgh Steelers to carry the larger burden of the NFL’s less successful teams. Obama went on to further proclaim, “In these difficult times we are all in this to work together. We must reclaim the NFL Championship Dream for every team, for every city and for every fan.”

“My plan will not affect 31 of the 32 teams in the league.” Obama assures. That’s over 95 percent of the teams in the NFL will not have to worry about loosing any Super Bowl Trophies. “The worst teams in the NFL and the teams that can’t seem to get a break and win a championship will no longer have to worry about going without a title.” Obama promises. “We are a country and league of hope. We all need to make a change.  It does not matter the color of the teams uniforms, the personal decisions that the teams make or their performance but rather if they are a member of this great American league.” The Super Bowl XLIII trophy will be redistributed to the 0-16 Detroit Lions. Through no
fault of their own incompetence, the Lions could not manage a victory all season and this trophy will help ease the pain of their lack of performance and give them hope once again. The redistribution of Super Bowl XL trophy will go directly to the Steeler’s division rival the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals who also have fallen on hard times have never won a Super Bowl. This victory will bring a smile to hundreds of Bengal fans all over the world as they can
now celebrate. Finally, one of the Steeler’s two Super Bowl victories over the Dallas Cowboys will go back to the Cowboys since the league needs to provide hope in the face of difficulty and provide hope in the face of uncertainty. This is a heavy burden for the Steelers but together we can all prosper. All hope is not lost for Pittsburgh fans, Barack Hussain Obama has another plan in place. Obama has meet with MLB and commissioner Bud Selig on a similar plan. The New York Yankees will redistribute two of their world series trophies to the Pittsburgh Pirates as a supplement to their losing 16 straight seasons and counting. This plan will help stimulate the Pirates and enable them to regain the American Dream. Barack Hussain Obama will be meeting with the NHL and Michael Phelps in the upcoming weeks as this issue is high on his agenda for “Hope and Change.” Steelers must now share their wealth and fruits of
their success and hard work.

Obama provides hope to NFL teams.

16 Comments.

  1. Steelers to lose Super Bowl Trophies « Financial Blogger - pingback on 3/21/2009 at March 21, 2009 - 08:56 PM
  2. I can’t believe this! You can’t redistribute championships to people who haven’t earned them. I understand that everyone should have a chance at everything but it is ridiculous to give trophies to teams that have a history of losing just to make them feel better. That undermines the whole concept of WINNING a championship.

  3. it’s so deliciously ironic that you are using the NFL as your example to oppose Obama’s “socialism.” The NFL is a quintessential socialist organization. If you are a winner you get penalized by having a late draft pick. The Chiefs, a loser organization, totally mismanaged for the past 10 years, get the 3rd pick. The Steelers, an incredibly successful franchise with great coaching and management get the last draft pick. If your team makes a lot of money, you have to share nearly all of it with the poor teams. It’s called revenue sharing. The owners negotiate with a powerful labor union (BOO!), the NFLPA, and pay the players tons of money. The result: an NFL franchise is the most lucrative property in sports. The NFL is the most popular sporting organization in the country, if not the world. Every team at the beginning of the season knows they have a shot of winning the superbowl. Let’s compare that situation with major league baseball, George Bush’s favorite sport. In this organization, the rich teams keep getting richer, and the poor teams keep getting poorer: classic Busheconomics. If you are a poor team, like Tampa Bay, and by some act of God make it to the World Series, you can be assured that a rich team like the Yankees or Red Sox will raid your best players eventually. If you’re a poor team, you have no chance of making the World Series. The result: baseball remains in decline; a few teams make a lot of money, the majority of the teams barely break even, and poor teams lose money, supported by limited revenue sharing. Which is better: baseball or football?

     

    I say if the NFL is socialistic, the NFL is successful, then let’s be socialists!

  4. Yeah sure, James. Successful up until the point where they would ever do something like redistribute championships?

    Anyway, the point was made; your over-analysis doesn’t change that.

  5. “Every team at the beginning of the season knows they have a shot of winning the superbowl.”

    Tell that to Detroit…

  6. Steelers must share superbowl trophies with less successful teams « - pingback on 3/30/2009 at March 30, 2009 - 03:02 AM
  7. What about the Cowboys and the Raiders. Don’t they have several. Why just the Steelers! Make all the teams give up half thier trophies.

  8. LOL! Great satire…this is a gem.

  9. So funny!  Change is coming America and it won’t be pretty.

  10. NFL Parody on Obama Parity. Another Weapon of Mass Distortion « John Daly Live - pingback on 3/31/2009 at March 31, 2009 - 06:58 PM
  11. If this were true i would shoot myself. That is after i take care of a few others first.

  12. Losing The Super Bowl Trophies « Quipster - pingback on 4/11/2009 at April 11, 2009 - 12:02 AM
  13. Obama: Steelers to lose Super Bowl Trophies « NObama Blog - pingback on 9/9/2009 at September 9, 2009 - 07:17 AM
  14. Under a true socialist system, I doubt professional sports would ever be permitted to operate in their current state, considering the absurdly high amounts of capital funneled to people who do nothing more than demonstrate athletic ability.
     
    But good satire, I guess. You really know what you’re talking about.